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Jln's avatar

As an American no longer living in America I’m embarrassed and shocked at the level of “in your face” we can do what we want from the Dems, the media and the deep state.

They’ve thrown all pretense out the window and are not even trying to hide that they tried to kill a former president on live TV, again! And they just pulled off a coup to replace a president we all knew had cognitive issues 5 yrs ago.

Where we go from here who knows. Some how I don’t think it will be civil war, but Martin Armstrong has been saying that the US would break up by 2032 and I can see that certainly happen not just in the US but throughout EU.

The cat’s out of the bag and I don’t see how anyone will really believe anything after this.

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Factscinator's avatar

Beaking news!! Bird flu has fled the nest and gone walkies through dog populations globally.

Top dog at Canine Disease Control, Deborah Barks, held a press conference at CDC houndquarters and con-furmed that a novel avian flu, which experts have christened "AVI-BARK 21" has migrated from birds to dogs.

Initially, fears circulated among the press corps that the novel CoronaDogger virus might have jumped to humans as Deborah Barks, fresh from an inspection of quarantine gulags in Siberia, was speaking in a voice that was rather HUSKY. With dogged determination, she insisted that such speculation was merely "barking up the wrong tree."

When a reporter from the chicken shits that comprise the sick dog of (MSM), our Muttstream Media asked for evidence of the furr-ightenig claim of viral migration, Barks skilfully referenced the initial sequencing of a tin of dog food. A small piece of bat shit from the Chinese Rufous Horseshoe Bat was found in a can of Pedigree Chum‘s High Protein Beef and Liver mix, inducing fears that the CCP were cooking up a dish of Fowl Chop-Poohey to limit our freedoms.

Bark‘s assistant from Yorkshire, Collie Terrier muzzled calls for kennel lockdowns, walkies mand-rakes, and for infected dogs to be impounded at Guano-tamano Bay. She assuaged fears by referencing a phone call she made to Dogerna‘s German CEO Spitz Sheperd 30 minutes ago, who insisted his doggedly determined teams from Spain-el and Fort Dingo could have entirely safe and effective jabs for every dog ready that afternoon. To encourage uptake, a month‘s supply of Premium Royal Canin would be offered with the first jab and each subsequent Rooster. Dog-tastic!!

When Berger Picard from Rolling Shar-pei expressed concern that a vaccine couldn‘t be evaluated for safety and efficacy over a morning phone call, Bark‘s feathers were clearly ruffled. Picard‘s inquiry was met with dogged resistance, her words mUffled by low-pitched menacing growls, fangs showing. Repeat calls for hard data were met with, "Trust me!! I am science." Anthony Woofci didnt like a young pup encroaching on his territory and dogma, and a dog fight quickly broke out with Woofci howling to the press gallery, "No!! I am Science!!" Deep state handlers from the Canine Impound Agency tried to calm things down. Eventually, they agreed to sniff each other‘s butts - the source of all their "health" advice. It appeared to work. A mutual respect blossomed for each others‘ shit "work."

Bark‘s agitation by requests for specifics, made it a prerequisite for reporters to fetch sticks she threw before answering. This was widely perceived to be a delaying tactic designed to give her more time to formulate lies and dogma.

Rmours have been circulating like a rabid dog on heat on Mutt Social Media concerning Anthony Woofci‘s spat with Bark‘s. If there is any currency to them, it appears that flocks of Woofci‘s ex-birds who are jab injured have been singing like canaries all over Twitter, disparaging his Miniature Schnauzer. The alleged dimensions were later confirmed by a fact check from Snoopes, exclusively relying for data generated by the Poodle search engine.

The CDC has advised dog owners to consult with a specialist should their dogs exhibit any unusual signs. Mild symptoms of Avi-Bark 21 include: dogs mimicking bird calls, pecking at dog food instead of munching normally, gathering sticks, leaves and other materials to construct nests in backyards, flapping ears vigorously accompanied by enthusiastic jumping as if trying to take off, removing eggs from the refrigerator and sitting on them to keep warm, and engaging in elaborate ‘mating dances,‘ hopping and spinning around in circles, hoping to impress nearby birds.

Long AVI-BARK 21 is far more serious and has resulted in a spate of injuries and deaths. Such travesties can stem from something as simple as trying to perch on tree branches, garden fences, and on owners shoulders pirate parrot style. Other concerning behaviours have witnessed dogs diving into shallow ponds to catch fish with their paws. Perhaps, most worrying for dog owners is the recent trend of dogs from the same neighborhood running in V-formation on busy transport arteries, not keeping their eyes on the road but constantly looking up at the geese and barking commands to slow down. The sight of their beloved canines transferring their loyalties to migratory flocks is heartbreaking. If traffic accidents don't claim them, migration to another continent will.

Stay tuned for more Beaking news! Pups and pooches, remember to keep those tails wagging and noses twitching for all the latest pup-dates on the new pup-demic! From all of us at Canine News Network, have an awesome evening and keep those bones buried!

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